We have created this blog to fill a need, provide a place for survivors and mental health professionals to share their experiences and research, analysis and recommendations, for addressing the long term consequences of complex relational trauma.
Submissions from staff, volunteers, supporters and guest writers.
No one knew I was an abused child
Now I help others heal
Photo: Model, by Mikhail Nilov
May 25th 2022
I fantasised about suicide years after. I was a chubby youngster who suffered poor body image for years. At home I was loud and overbearing, and at school withdrawn, too scared to talk as no one would believe me; dissociated from an early age.
Later on, I found refuge in toxic relationships and was drawn to be a healer. The spectre of abuse, cultural confusion and surviving domestic abuse has a taken its toll. I broke up with my university sweetheart (lovely woman) as I did not feel deserving of love. Self-deprecation and supporting my family lead to self-neglect.
The sad irony is that my Dad committed suicide 12 years ago, and I used that pain to forge a career in supporting those less fortunate. A tipping point in my life, it evoked a greater sense of purpose.
Trauma has no colour, but the dialogue needs to be had, particularly within an honour-based dynamic. My personal account is not shared for shock value but to enlighten. You can heal and grow. Life is not about attrition, but aspiration.
Writer, poet, mental health advocate, mentor and social care worker in the UK.
Copyright 2020 Recovery Code X